What proved to be a scientific breakthrough for a majority of the world was an emotionally distressing find for Jack Ballingoal, a Regis Jesuit student and lacrosse prodigy who just doesn’t get it.  “I’m, like, really good at lacrosse” he said.  “I was pretty sure everything revolved around me.”  His family and friends are helping him through this tough time in his life, showering him with praise.  “I’d like to see that stupid black hole beat my son in lacrosse,” Mrs. Ballingoal told reporters.  Jack is holding out hope that the discovery is due to discrepancies within the data saying, “We haven’t given up hope yet, I’ve bullied a lot of science nerds in my days, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they falsified data.”  Jack and his family have put together a petition calling for the revision of the study.  You can help him regain his sense of superiority at www.change.org/helpalocallegend.html.