By Abby Gonzales ‘19

It seems to be a nice and average day at the Regis Jesuit Girls Division, but deep within, down in the dungeon (freshmen hall) girls limp into Mrs. Cases’ athletic training room. You may ask what happened? I have a few words for you. Dress shoes and the lack thereof.

When entering the prom, homecoming, snoball etc. girls and boys have the option to drop their nice heels and shoes in a holding bag for the dance. This serves as a good way to avoid blisters and uncomfortable dancing. However, some people choose to not take their shoes off, thus a dangerous situation is presented for the shoeless.

You know that song “Turn Down for What” or literally any other song that immediately signals your brain to tell yourself to JUMP JUMP JUMP. I’ll give it to you guys it’s a very moving moment jumping up and down in unison with your fellow brothers and sisters. Not so much though when a heel lands straight into the middle of your foot or that star rugby player gets a little too close.

It’s the same thing each time. Everything goes still before the drop, this is when you should start saying your prayers ladies. Then as the music begins to intensify, personal space becomes optional, and feet become the primary target. In many cases, the same spot over and over again.
This is the aftermath:

All I’m saying is everyone wears shoes or no one does. The injuries have become too grave and there are one too many stairs on the Regis campus. This is Abby Gonzales signing out for now.